Why Rejection Is Necessary for Growth

rejection is necessary for growth

You should never be ashamed of rejection. If anything, rejection means you are trying and trying is a good thing, right?

People hate rejection because it makes them feel unworthy. Many of us struggle with feelings of disappointment after rejection. We then try to pinpoint the reasons why it could have happened. By doing this, many people have driven themselves crazy because they take rejection personally. 

Rejection stings and everyone experiences it. What’s important is how you respond to rejection. How you deal with the pain of rejection could determine your whole future. Mentally strong people use that experience to become stronger and improve on themselves.

The fear of rejection holds you back from going after the things that you want. You should always remember that rejection doesn’t mean that you or your idea isn’t good enough, it only means that that specific situation with that specific person didn’t work out. And that’s not the end of the world.

Every day millions of opportunities that we can take advantage of present themselves to us. With billions of people on the planet, why would you put yourself down because of one person who rejected you?

Rise above it.

It’s impossible to avoid rejection altogether, and here’s why you shouldn’t;

1. Rejection doesn’t hurt as much as regret

We spend a lot of time trying to avoid rejection as much as we can. We are always scared of being judged as unworthy or of being seen like we are not good enough for something. These two things hold most of us back from putting ourselves and our ideas out there.

But have you ever thought about what could happen if only you were willing to embrace the pain of rejection and risk more? How much more would you achieve if you lived your life believing that everything you desire rides on the possibilities of rejection?

Would you live your life to the fullest and go for the opportunities around your fearlessly if you accepted that rejection has to be part of it?

Rejection isn’t about your pride, don’t make it about that. Rather, rejection is about expanding your possibilities and your opportunities. Rejection has nothing to do with your sense of self-worth or the quality that you bring to the table.

You should embrace rejection. That occasional sting is better than living with regret knowing that you didn’t try going after your dreams as much as you should have.

2. With every rejection, you get one step closer to landing what you want

Ask successful people, and most of them will tell you that luck is very rare. When you put yourself out there, you increase your chances of bumping into that “big break” that you have been working so hard for. Every time you put yourself out there, you set yourself up for rejection, and that’s a good thing. You have to be persistent in pursuing what you want. You have to relentless in going after will your dreams and goals. 

Here’s a quote that you should keep in mind, “you will never win it if you aren’t in it.” Don’t get sucked up into negative comparison, self-doubt, self-pity, or self-rebuke. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break.

rejection is necessary for growth

3. Rejection speaks more about the person rejecting you rather than about you

You may have a garden with the sweetest apples, but there will always be a person who hates apples.

Did your value change when you landed or didn’t land the job of your dreams? Absolutely not! What changed was the other person’s perception of your value and not your value itself.

Rejection speaks more about the perceptions, values, or even bias of the person who rejects you or your ideas rather than about your self-worth. To be honest none of your values matter when a person rejects you.

Maybe they don’t even know them. Rejection is simply the other person projecting their insecurities, fears, and biases on you. This could be for so many reasons, for example;

  • Maybe that partner wasn’t ready for a commitment yet, that’s why they walked out on you.
  • Maybe the timing wasn’t right yet.
  • It could be that the person was having a bad day.
  • What if they thought you were overqualified for that opportunity and you would get bored pretty soon?

Most people reject others because of their subjective opinions of them. Their assessment is usually based on their own concerns, opinions, assumptions, and values. The rest is just you, torturing yourself trying to understand why they rejected you in the first place.

The most important part of rejection is what it means to you. The subsequent actions following rejection and the narrative you tell yourself are the most important parts of the rejection.

If you choose to interpret rejection as you being unworthy, unemployable, doomed, or unworthy of love, then you will struggle so much with doing what it takes to achieve your dreams.

Rise above the self-pity and the need to judge and chastise yourself. Instead, learn and grow from the rejection. Polish yourself up instead and prepare yourself for a come-back. 

How to cope with rejection and use it as a stepping stone towards success

Rejection hurts less when you learn how to cope with it. By dealing with rejection the right way, you will rise above self-pity, self-loathing, and self-doubt.

Here’s how to deal with rejection;

1. Stay positive

Rejection is painful. Painful emotions can sometimes push us into bad feelings. Reliving the negative experience over and over can make the situation far worse than it is already.  When you dwell on the negative aspects of rejection, you hurt yourself more and this makes it more difficult to move past the rejection.

It’s one thing to feel sad about being rejected, but it’s another thing to dwell on it. Dwelling on rejection will spoil your mood, waste your time and discourage you from trying ever again.

2. Use rejection to level up

Rejection gives you an opportunity to evaluate yourself critically and see if there are things you can improve on. If the skills you presented weren’t good enough, then that’s an opportunity for you to learn a new skill, work on your game or even improve your techniques in answering interview questions.

Rejections act as eye-openers, harsh as they may be. However, if you chose to look at it the right way, rejection can be something that propels you into improving your personality, talents, and skills so that you can excel in life

3. Have an unbiased perspective

How are you explaining the rejection to yourself? Are you putting yourself down? Are you blaming it on yourself?

  • They don’t want me because I am unattractive,”
  • “I am dumb,”
  • “No one likes me”.

Stick to the facts when you are trying to explain the rejection. Shut down the negative thoughts and focus on the qualifications that are required of you.

When you blame yourself or put yourself down, you exaggerate your faults, and that causes more harm in the end. When you think along negative lines, you crush your spirit and your self-confidence. Rejection hurts, but it’s certainly not the end of the world.

4. Be proud of yourself for trying

You were turned down, but isn’t it better that you tried your best? You acted despite your fears and your self-doubt. Maybe the timing isn’t right, but you gave it your best shot and that is the most important thing at the end of the day

I know rejection stings. I have been there and I understand just how painful it can be. In everything though, I have always been grateful to everyone that rejected me, because for me it was a learning experience. I have always believed that there was a silver lining in every cloud of rejection that I have experienced.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that every rejection has led up to this moment and for that, I am forever thankful.

I hope this has been useful towards helping you reframe how you view rejection and taking it forward to becoming the best possible and deserved version of you

You can always reach out to me if you need help dealing with rejection or read Why It’s Important to Be Defined by Your Personal Values and Not External Factors   

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Hi! I'm Dr Jessica

I share my expertise as a Family Physician to provide you with the support and tools to a holistic lifestyle.

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