Firstly realise that it’s a massive step to get here where you realise that maybe you can be happier if you decide to live your life in a different way. Take a moment to feel that- empowerment that comes from knowing that this realisation that you struggle with the need for perfection is not a failure but actually you taking back control in your life. And here is how.
it may be that the cause of your drive for perfectionism comes from abuse or deep trauma that only therapy can help you unpack and start the healing. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of about having therapy, just like we would have a plaster cast to heal a broken bone, when our minds have been affected we need appropriate treatment.
2. Adjust your lens
By removing your fear of failure and accepting that sometimes we will get it wrong and that actually this is ok. That this is the opportunity to learn or change focus. Furthermore, acknowledge and repeat that there is only one person who is perfect and that is GOD!
3. Do not set your happiness on the approval of others
Trust me when you do this not only will you invite toxic people into your life but worse you will actually never be happy. So don’t bother, please God, yourself, and those who love you and have good intentions for you.
4. Be gentle to yourself and turn off your inner critique
I can’t begin to explain how vital self-compassion is in the process of healing and living a fulfilled life. On days when I start to think that my imperfection is the cause of something I feel I lack I challenge my mind and I consciously choose to do something loving for myself.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Another way to bring yourself back to the present and to remember how beautiful you are is to practice mindfulness. Meditation is a great way to still your mind and appreciate the moment. With this recall all you have to be grateful for not what you perceive you lack.
6. “Strive for progress, not perfection” Joyce Meyer
That’s right aim to do your best not to be perfect. Be it perfect by what others think or an impossible definition of what standard you must achieve. Instead, focus on doing better than you did yesterday and aim for your definition of excellence.
7. Celebrate being an imperfect human being
Once I accepted that hang on I’m human and actually, that means imperfect I started to say middle finger to anyone who tried to make me feel less and walk away from any situation that brought back my previous need to aim for perfection.
8. Don’t take life too seriously
I mean this, this life was meant to be a journey of purpose, of constant gratitude and acceptance regardless of the ups and downs. It was meant to be one in which we laughed a lot more than we cried so it simply isn’t worth thinking that perfection will for instance change the fact that we have but a short and beautiful moment on this earth. So don’t waste it, choose instead to create joy and be love.
9. Love is the goal
Remember what life is truly about and that is love.
Yes, achievements are good; success, money, and beauty but love is the ultimate goal. There is nothing worth more than to be loved for who we are so make that the goal. To be open for love and to give love and believe your imperfections are what makes us more interesting to love.
I hope this has given you some practical ways to overcome perfectionism and remember progress is all you need to make in achieving this.
Perfectionism can be stressful most times so that’s why you need to use these 12 tips to destress!