How do you cope with loneliness during this season without family or loved ones?
This year just keeps on giving even when you’re asking it to please stop! Many will not be able to travel to see family, some may be alone this Christmas. This is heart-wrenching even during normal times but this year when everyone just needs a little bit of let up this just seems like the final punch in the gut!
But perhaps we should have expected it, this year has not been normal in any way. We understand the importance of keeping the R rate down but it still sucks. But just with everything, every situation in life we adjust when we are called to, we look to our coping strategies and if you don’t have any this is the time to establish ones. Because unfortunately we will be faced with more trialing times to come. We will be faced with ‘life’ situations and the good news is you can equip yourself with the techniques and the tools to stay calm no matter what.
So I want you not to dwell on the fact that you cannot see family or friends this season and if you will be alone this season you do not have to feel alone. All it takes is for you to reach out and there will be a helping hand, trust me this year has shown how loving and compassionate people can be.
Keep reading to see my top 7 ways to cope with loneliness if you have to spend the festive season alone.
I know this will not replace your family or friends that are away, but you can still take time to care for yourself. This will make you feel better and enjoy your alone time. What would make you happy (Apart from being with friends and family)? Just take a relaxing bath, give yourself a Do-it-yourself spa treatment, or get your favorite book, and read.
This is a very good way to care for yourself. You could stream some nice films on Netflix or watch funny videos on YouTube. Things like these can lift your spirit.
Technology is a curse but also a blessing. You do not have to feel lonely this season, call your family or friends to organize games online, sing-along, or even just watch the same movie. Treat Christmas day 2020 exactly like every other wonderful Christmas day you’ve had.
And perhaps you don’t have close friends or family, that’s ok too. This is one of the few times I will recommend social media but now is the time to join a Facebook group or even Meetup groups, some are still running virtual events.
Get creative, step outside your comfort zone; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Whatever you don’t let this rollercoaster year tarnish the joy and happiness that is the festive season.
If there is anything we all should be learning from this year and it’s the importance of self-reflection and taking a moment to take stock. Finding out if you are working towards your purpose if you taking steps to live the most fulfilled life you can.
Taking the time to reconnect with yourself, to enjoy your amazingness, and fill yourself up with self-love and compassion. To finally rid yourself of the negative narratives and self-doubt stopping you from pursuing your dreams.
So remember that if you feel the constant need for a company then it’s time to pause and ask yourself the difficult questions of why you don’t believe you can give yourself what you need right now.
It’s often so easy to get absorbed in your frustration and get drawn into that negative mindset. Rather than focusing on Christmas 2020 being cancelled, think about your elderly neighbour or the homeless, think about those more vulnerable than you, and decide to extend an act of kindness.
Not only will you be doing something good but reaching out to others who may also be lonely this Christmas will remind you of all the things you have to be grateful for. That this moment of feeling lonely or being frustrated about the holidays not being as they used to be will come to pass and you have so much still to be grateful for.
This brings me to my next tip, practice gratitude always!
You can download this free gratitude affirmation here.
You see, cultivating the habit of being thankful for things you have will go a long way for you. Don’t dwell on what you feel you lack or can’t have this season but instead focus on all your blessings. And yes even in this year we all have much to be thankful for, when you take a moment to think about this you’ll find the blessings.
Show gratitude for everything, small and big; you developed a closer relationship with a loved one this year- show gratitude. You managed to not put on any weight during lockdown show gratitude!
Start your gratitude journal and believe me that cloud over you will start to lift.
There is only so far our strength, or that of a friend or family member will take you. There will come a time when your resolve will be tested, there may come a time when your usual go-to coping mechanisms just aren’t enough.
In every moment and especially in these moments reach out to God. Be it through prayer, or some form of spiritual text; reach out to him and be reminded that your existence was not a mistake. That you were created for a purpose and to accomplish this, you have to let life situations pass through you not take you over.
When you take a moment and converse openly with your creator, you find answers, solutions that you couldn’t see with your rational mind.
Are you truly feeling lonely, frustrated about the change to your festive plans? Or is it a symptom of something deeper?
During the first lockdown, I thought I was feeling lonely, frustrated that I couldn’t travel as I had planned. I took a moment to look deeper and I found I was afraid that I had failed; that here I was in my early 30s and I didn’t have my life perfectly together. I wasn’t married with my 2.4 kids and semi-detached house, I wasn’t a multimillionaire and I still wasn’t as cool as I thought I ought to be to succeed! Once I realised this was actually what was going on, I made peace with these fears and focused on the blessings I have now, and trust that my abundance of love and wealth is mine to have.
Explore your feelings by letting them come to the surface, unfiltered, and raw. Acknowledge what they are and realise what deeper pain they may relate to. Then let them pass through by being compassionate to yourself.
You can learn more here How to Release Trapped Emotions From your Mind and Body.
You can examine your feelings by yourself or with the help of a therapist. You don’t have to leave your home to connect with a therapist.
This year has been tough and it’s gotten tougher during these festive seasons, remember that you are in control of how you view a situation. So let’s not feel that Christmas has been cancelled but instead rise to the challenge of how to be innovative about how we connect and have an amazing well deserved Christmas 2020!
I would love to hear how you got creative this festive season; drop them below in the comment section.
Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas 2020!
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