Oh, the beauty of a life lived beyond the shores of fear. I know you’ve thought about it many times before. And I know that’s what you want; hence, you’re reading this.
Imagine how extraordinary your life would be right now if you had no fears, couldn’t fail, and had all the support you need. Imagine how incredible you’d feel if you could do anything. Think about how fanciful your home, relationships, career, and every other area of your life could be if you had no fears.
But having no fear is only a wish. As long as we’re trapped in human vessels, we’ll always have some concerns. The difference between having the life you want and admire and the one you now live is what you do with or about those fears. The difference between those they call winners and losers is what they do with their fears.
For many people (and maybe you), the word ‘fear’ evokes a crippling emotion; one that stops them from making great strides in life. Fearlessness is a great asset to have as you journey this earth. It isn’t the absence of fear but striving on in its midst.
I’ve had my struggles with fear and had to work my way out. I remember one incident clearly.
I price being able to solve problems highly. I love being or proferring the solution. So on one occasion, after solving a couple of issues for a group of people that helped them save a lot of money, I made a wrong call that cost them some pennies. While it was no big deal to them (except for one perfectionist), I became very hard on myself. I started to fear making another bad decision. Focusing on that single mistake would have cost me (and them) more had I not caught myself and put myself right.
Long story short, we went on to do more great things together because I didn’t let the fear of making another mistake deter me from doing what I love to do.
Being fearless in life will help you do unbelievable things. You cannot achieve your wildest dreams without it. You cannot live boldly and confront problems or people while being fearful. Fearlessness will help you charge on even when obstacles seem to be multiplying (as they often do until you eventually surmount enough to achieve your goals).
Living fearlessly every day is the only way to truly live happily and fulfilled! It’s the only way to reach your full potential.
So here are 12 things you should do every day to live fearlessly.
Be Self-Aware
This is where it all begins. All your fears (minus none) live inside your head. Studies show that children only know two fears when they are born: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. We learn every other fear as we grow.
The point is, all your fears are in your mind – inside. The first step to conquering them and living fear-free is self-awareness.
Examine your inner conversations
Closely related to being self-aware is monitoring the conversations going on inside you per time. Why is this crucial? Because, sometimes, we’re reinforcing our fears with our inner conversations. That might be why that fear has so much hold on your life. You can kill that fear by identifying your fear-reinforcing thoughts and discussions.
Define and analyse
Be objective about and examine your fears. Ask yourself questions like, “Why am I terrified of this thing?” “What is about this relationship (or job) I’m petrified of?” “Would anything dangerous happen if I went on to do what I want to do?” “What do I really have to do that’s so hard or scary?”
Drill into that fear. If you can get to the bottom of the fear, you can defeat it. I have found that, many times, clarity is all you need to conquer that overwhelming feeling associated with the fear.
Don’t be a control freak
I know that sounds harsher than how I’ll typically talk, but that’s the best way to draw your attention to what’s happening to you. Sometimes your fears make you want to control everything. And when anything gets out of control or doesn’t work as you expect, it reinforces those fears and need to be in control. This leads to a never-ending cycle of fear reinforcement.
Learn to let go sometimes. It’s okay if you cannot control everything because you can’t. Focus on you and what you can control. If need be, employ measures to prevent the effects of the things you cannot control o they don’t ruin your efforts, happiness, and life.
Worst case scenario thinking or planning
Ask yourself this simple question, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Sometimes, the real fear is about an outcome you don’t know of. It’s called the fear of the unknown. And it can be terrifying for many.
For many of us, the unknown is like a dark world with the possibility of scary things popping up everywhere and especially when we’re least expecting it. But what if it’s not (though that’s possible)? What if good things can come out too?
Sometimes, even writing can feel this way. I always hope you’ll read my published works in a receptive mind frame. But what if you don’t? What if you’re angry while reading this? What if you’re judgmental and critical, and instead of allowing the content to help you take the next step in your life, you’re making remarks such as, “That’s too formal or informal,” or “That sentence doesn’t drive home the point?” or “I think she needs to work more on her grammatical skills?” and a myriad of other unknown outcomes.
But I also think about possibilities, and that’s why I can do what I do regardless. For example, what if while you read, a single line is all that makes a tremendous impact on your life and helps you live your best life, or at least improve on the one you have? Would that be worth it? Sure it would!
In this case, the worst that can happen is that you won’t read my published work again or leave an unpleasant comment. But that’s also feedback. It will help me improve, so that’s okay.
While the negative outcomes are many, that single possibility of making an impact is enough for me.
Stop people-pleasing
The fear of rejection and the drive to please people are critical reasons you might be under the hold of the crippling effects of your trepidation. There is no achievement in being a people pleaser. I know you want to have a feeling of belonging. But you cannot belong everywhere! That’s a sure sign that there’s a fundamental inner problem – call it self-esteem problems, if you may.
And guess what? I have both good and bad news. The bad news is that no matter how good you are and how much you do to please others, some people will still not like or welcome you—some for emotional reasons, some for flimsy reasons, and some for objective reasons. But rejection is rejection. Whoever wants to say something they want will say it anyway.
The good news is, if you learn to love and appreciate yourself first, you’ll end up pleasing fewer people, and many more people will be happy with you, however covert their admiration of you might be.
When you are a people pleaser, you live under the fear of being rejected. It’s a terrible place to be.
Take Chances
Don’t let your fears paralyse you to the point you can’t do anything. If you take chances and win in life, outstanding! If not, it was a learning experience. You have to learn to reframe your experiences and do what you have to do.
Sometimes, you’re scared because you realise that you might incur some losses. That’s okay. Such fears help you preserve things like your capital. But capital preservation is not the same as not investing. If you refuse to take risks, you’ll still lose that money to something. And that something might be a purchase whose value will drop in no distant time. But the reward for taking that risk will more than pay for itself if it works out.
Challenge yourself to live fearlessly
This is something you have to do for yourself daily. It’s good to have or listen to motivational or inspiring talk often. Still, you alone can absolutely challenge yourself to be and do more. So do it! Challenge yourself to face your anxieties, worries, or that alarming circumstance. Sometimes, just charge headlong into the situation and let whatever wants to happen happen. This works especially when you’ve done your worst-case scenario thinking, and you’ve seen that the worst that can happen is something you can live with – it won’t cost a life!
Dare to be. Dare to do. Dare to have!
Be open to all possibilities
Sometimes, your fear results from your mind being locked on a small set of possibilities. And when things start happening outside your range, you become terrified of what will happen. So, how about opening up? How about opening yourself to more because you live in a world of infinite possibilities?
The more open you are, the less fearful you become.
Embrace change
Stop being dreadful about change! Embrace it.
I understand that there’s much security in the known. I know that your comfort zone isn’t scary. But change is inevitable and happening around us daily. What you do with it will determine what your life turns out to be.
It is easy to accept changes when you see a new reality (and possibility) behind them. So, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a heartbreak, job loss, a new job, a new relationship, or a new co-worker that challenges the status quo. There’s an upside for you, but only if you can look beyond the change itself.
Practice creativity and Overcome bite-size challenges daily
When your fears arise from the thought that you’re not good enough, qualified enough, don’t have the right skills, etc., one thing you can do is set and overcome small daily challenges. They don’t have to be anything crazy. It can be as simple as a new lesson in a language learning course. It can be a simple coding class (just one), reading one chapter of a book, learning that hair-packing style that looks difficult, or something else—the more diversified, the better.
Those little successes add up to build your confidence till you’re unstoppable. When you do this long enough, you’ll realise you have always had it in you. Nothing will appear impossible as you’ll realise that it only takes time.
The boost to your confidence and daily living will be exponential and astronomical.
Set goals and imagine your vision
Life gives us the raw materials for what we want. But until you have a clear vision of what that is, you’ll never really realise it. You might be seeing your boss at the office as your biggest obstacle and antagonist; meanwhile, life gave her to you as your number one teacher to help you realise purpose and destiny.
So, the question is, “What do you want out of life?” Do you have clearly written goals?
Create a vision or mood board of what you want. Then visualise yourself doing them daily. See yourself with your boyfriend or husband, enjoying the life you’ve always wanted. See yourself finishing that MBA or your preferred course of study. How about the kids you want to have? And the house? Did you also include your big kitchen, home office, enjoying family time and love at the beach?
Set a goal, whatever you want and envision it happening daily.
There are several other things you can do to live fearlessly. They include
- Seeking inspiration
- Seeking mentorship or professional support
- Networking and associating with fearless people
- Shaking up routines
- Being willing to look stupid
- Speaking up for yourself and saying your mind
All of these impact your life in different ways and help you overcome the paralysing dreadfulness to which most people live as captives.
There’s a beautiful life beyond your fears. All you want to be in life are on the other side of your worries. So unless you begin taking steps to live fearlessly every day, you’ll never know the beauty waiting for you. Some of the 12 things you should do every day to live fearlessly include embracing change, worst-case scenario planning and thinking, being self-aware, monitoring your inner conversations to cut beliefs that reinforce your fears, and more.
Start doing as many of these things today to change your life!
No responses yet