Reasons why you might lose friends when focusing on your personal growth?

Self Improvement

Personal growth: why you are losing friends

Personal growth is a constant process of developing yourself to achieve the maximum potential you already possess. So then why does it seem you start to lose friends when you’re trying to grow? 

Person growth means is a very individual process. Generally speaking, it is about self-improvement of your skills, knowledge, personal potentials, life objectives and viewpoint.  Indeed, Personal development plays a dynamic part in your personal and professional growth, success, and happiness. 

Personal growth has a deep effect on every part of your life. As you experience personal growth, you start  to feel more passionate about life. Usually Personal growth and development  are linked with the motivation, encouragement to enhance and bring forward the best possible version of ourselves. With the continuous process of personal growth, you are able to analyseand be accountable as to how effectively you are moving towards your purpose and creating the life you always dreamed of.

Why Personal growth should play an important part in your life

Have you been in the situation where you were asked your focus right now and you replied “my personal growth” and perhaps you were met with an eye roll. I get it I’ve been there too! 

But that’s just it your personal growth is essential to human existence. Through conscious growth we not only get better but we inspire those around us to be their own best version. Personal growth is self-love, that desire, that burning to continuing learning about you, your interaction with others and the world keeps you connected to your creator and your internal compass. 

It lets you know when ‘something is off’ be it with a particular relationship or your current focus. It also gives you courage to take the necessary action to bring you into alignment towards the direction needed to ensure your continuous growth.

So is personal growth more than a cliché?

The answer for once is yes!

Without personal growth, you will lack purpose because the very definition of purpose is to pursue your best self, your highest expression. For that to happen you must continue to grow.

Investing in yourself is the most important thing you will do, it’s necessary for you to succeed in any area of your life. When you invest in you positively then the outcome is always growth. 

So it begs the question- why then doesn’t everybody else seem happy for you when you talk about your personal growth? Or why do you even end up losing friends and even family whilst you are on this journey?

Well let’s take a look at some of these reasons.

Passion of self-growth

When you start a personal growth journey, your focus and ultimately your entire energy, ambitions, and feelings change. This makes for a huge life adjustment and naturally it has huge effects in your life. You become inward looking; for answers to past traumas, for solutions for your healing and for how to move towards abundance in your life.

This shift is visible to the world, especially those who knew you before you committed to being your best version. It comes with it some misconceptions- family and friends may think you don’t care because you’re not as readily available. When in fact what has happened is you’ve finally taken the leading role in your life- you are having so much fun uncovering your beautiful layers.

It’s unfortunate that these feelings come up from friends and family but guess what it’s part of your growth. To realise that disapproval from others as to the time you dedicate to improving you, when it’s not coming from a place of selflessness is something you must learn to tune out.

It won’t always be this way soon they will either accept you for who you are growing into or you will make new friends also working on their self-development. 

Personal Conflicts

Sometimes in your entire process of personal growth, you change almost completely and try hard to make a new impression on everyone through positive transformations. Sometimes your new personality no longer a match for the friendships you hold and if so it may be time to let them go if they are negatively impacting your growth.

It can be painful to lose friends but it will be worse to stay in a relationship that no longer adds to you positively or causes constant conflict and arguments.

Friendship Out of Habit

Many of our old friends are friends because we went to school with them or grew up around them. These friendships were born when we were still getting to know ourselves, sometimes also out of convenience, and even trauma. Many friends and even family when you start to nurture you and grow are no longer a healthy fit for the journey ahead. Now don’t get me wrong I can hear you saying am I suppose to just dump family and if I also dump friends who will be left!

Family will always be family, if they do not draw away from your pursuit for your purpose, your abundance then you can simply set strong boundaries as to how you wish to interact. If they do bring a lot of negativity or even pose harm towards you then at this point you should consider putting distance between you and them.

Loyalty can also keep us stuck with the wrong people for too long. Loyalty can seem like such an admirable quality, but it can often be blind and misguided. Just because someone has been in your life for a long time doesn’t give them permanent placement for life — especially if it no longer feels good!

Growth often starts as a lonely path 

Most of you live with the belief that when you’re on the right path, the world will rise to meet you and give more chances. And there’s certainly some truth to it. But that doesn’t mean periods of loneliness and self-doubt don’t come along with it. You don’t have to be happy about letting go. It’s okay to grieve what you’re leaving behind. It’s okay to be sad as you say goodbye to people, to places, to situations that no longer suit you. 

How to create your soulful personal development plan

Negative Reactions from friends and family

As you continue your growth journey, you may experience negative reactions from loved ones and friends. You as an individual live in a state of fear. Stagnation often sees those on a path to growth as intimidating. 

Perhaps you’ve decided to start a business and are growing and succeeding in new and exciting ways, but your family and friends don’t seem to like it. You may be disregarded by those who you thought were real friends. The more you work on yourself, the more you will start feeling as if the world is working against you.

But often when this happens is when the magic is about to appear to affirm to you just how much you have accomplished by deciding to make you a priority. When you focus on your personal growth it is likely that you will lose friends or rather people who were never for you in the first place.  Because now you have much more clarity and can see others exactly as they are.

Path of growth is not an easy one

There’s nothing easy about walking down the path of personal growth which is about letting go of others, reaction, isolation. It’s hard but nothing is permanent. It’s a process. If you trust in life, you’ll find the right people, places and things will flow toward you naturally, with perfect timing. 

Jealousy Factors 

When you experience personal growth & transformation, some of your friends & family may become uncomfortable with your success. Some may even unconsciously resent it. This is because your progress can serve as a reminder to them that they are avoiding growth in their own lives. 

It needs to be remembered that this should not be a deterrent to keep progressing. Difference in priorities and values may cause some old relationships to fall apart. The length of time you’ve been friends with someone does not necessarily equate with the strength of your friendship with that person today. What’s important is how the relationship makes you feel right now.

In case you do find yourself in position where you are losing friend you know are support and have your best interest at heart then here are a few things to consider.

How to deal with friends who don’t understand your new growth?

As already discussed above many characteristics such as personality conflicts, lack of time, your new transformative habits, impact the nature of your relationship with your family and friends. Sometimes they understand your struggles towards your personal growth and misinterpret you and sometimes it’s difficult for you to find and understand their true intentions towards you. 

Personal growth is often uncomfortable, messy, and full of feelings you weren’t expecting. But it’s necessary. 

Here is what you must do so that you don’t  lose the friends that will support you in this journey. 

● First, choose to grow with them and make a point of sharing your experiences and lessons learned with them. Share your feelings and experiences along the way. Who knows, your friendship could blossom even more. This will help on both sides of the relationship.

● Always remember in this journey of personal growth, Your friends, family and other people are not your competition. Your competition is adjournment, your ego, the knowledge you are neglecting, the negative behavior you are nurturing and lack of creativity. You need to fight with these instead of positive friends or family.

● In this journey, you may start to think that you are doingeverything right in the spark of your ambitions and achieving the goals. As a result you can’t understand the viewpoints of your friends and family.  Decide instead to listen with an open mind and heart, hear their side of things for better relations in friendship.

At the end of the day as they say “it is what it is”. 

Your friend might not like your new transformation due to jealousy,  and as such don’t seem to care. If this is the case, it may be time to move on, unfortunately. This often happens when people change dramatically; you may outgrow relationships and need to find new ones that help you to flourish instead of opposing it to maintain the status quo. 

It’s a natural part of change but it can be shocking and sad. Just know that if this happens, it’s meant to be, and you will find better, more supportive friends for the new you. Make the effort to include your friend but if they’re just not having it or being constantly negative, it’s time to move on.

It has always been observed that personal growth doesn’t just affect us. It can affect the dynamics of relationships with partners, friends, family, and co-workers. Humans are social beings and can’t live on an island. 

Your behavior and actions affect others especially the people you are closest to. Try to make an effort to keep the good friends around by being open, honest, and authentic with them about your growth journey and allowing them to contribute where they can for powerful results. 

It might just prevent you from  losing friends. If you need professional assistance in your personal growth journey, you can always reach out to me.

You can also read the 10 easy tips to turn your purpose into reality! I look forward to hearing from you.

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